Kompromat Read online

  ALSO BY STANLEY JOHNSON

  FICTION

  Gold Drain

  Panther Jones for President

  The Urbane Guerilla

  The Marburg Virus [republished as The Virus]

  Tunnel

  The Commissioner

  The Doomsday Deposit

  Dragon River

  Icecap [republished as The Warming]

  NON-FICTION

  Life without Birth: A Journey Through the Third World in Search of the Population Explosion

  The Green Revolution

  The Population Problem

  The Politics of Environment

  Pollution Control Policy of the EEC

  Antarctica: The Last Great Wilderness

  World Population and the United Nations

  The Earth Summit: The United Nations Conference on Environment and Development (UNCED)

  World Population - Turning the Tide

  The Environmental Policy of the European Communities The Politics of Population: Cairo, 1994

  Survival: Saving Endangered Migratory Species [co-authored with Robert Vagg]

  Where the Wild Things Were: Travels of a Conservationist

  UNEP: The First 40 Years

  MEMOIR

  Stanley I Presume

  Stanley I Resume

  To my grandchildren

  CONTENTS

  CAST OF CHARACTERS

  AUTHOR'S NOTE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  CHAPTER FORTY

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CAST OF CHARACTERS

  UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

  Ronald C. Craig: Republican Presidential candidate and later US President

  Brandon Matlock: US President (outgoing)

  Caroline Mann: Democratic Presidential candidate

  Rosie Craig: Ronald Craig’s daughter

  Malvina Craig: Ronald Craig’s wife

  Dirk Goddard: Attorney General

  Bert Rumbold: Ronald Craig’s Campaign Director

  Bud Hollingsworth: Director of the CIA

  Wilbur Brown: Director of the FBI

  John Hulley: CIA boffin

  Jo Silcock: Attorney General

  General Ian Wright: National Security Adviser

  Julius Lomax: Former US Congressman

  Sandra Lomax: Wife of of Julius, aide to Caroline Mann

  Gina Paulson: Vixen TV

  Eric Longhurst: CBS

  Bill Whitelaw: Congressman

  Larry Kinder: Senator

  Pedro Gonzales: Federal Marshal in Florida

  Jimmy Redmond: Ditto

  Georgiy Reznikov: Russian Ambassador in Washington

  Jack Varese: Movie star

  Terry Caruthers: Co-pilot of Varese’s plane

  RUSSIA

  Igor Popov: Russian President

  Fyodor Stephanov: FSB St Petersburg

  Yuri Yasonov: Chief aide to Russian President

  Galina Aslanova: Head of Special Projects, FSB, Moscow

  Pavel Golov: Galina’s boss, Director at FSB, Moscow

  Lyudmila Markova: FSB, Moscow

  Christine Amadore: CNN, Moscow

  SWAT team

  Ling and Kong: Two Chinese agents in St Petersburg

  Sir Andrew Boles: UK Ambassador in Moscow

  Martha Goodchild, Boles’s successor as UK Ambassador in Moscow

  Jim Connally: Embassy driver in Moscow

  Sergei: Driver of car in Siberia

  Ivan: Head Ranger in Siberia

  Two Russian ladies of the night

  GERMANY

  Helga Brun: Chancellor

  Ursula Hauptman: Chancellor’s main aide

  Thomas Hartkopf: State Secretary at German Ministry of the Interior

  Dr Otto Friedrich: German Minister of the Interior

  CHINA

  Liu Wang-Ji: President

  Jang Ling-Go: Director of Forestry and Wildlife, Heliongjiang Province

  Shao Wei-Lu (female): His Assistant

  Zhang Fu-Sheng: Minister of State Security (MSS)

  Li Xiao-Tong: MSS Counter-Intelligence

  Professor Wong: Archaeologist (in Xian)

  Professor Gung Ho-Min: in Khabarovsk Hospital

  Wang Tao-Yu: Chinese Premier

  Deng Biao-Su: MSS analyst

  UNITED KINGDOM

  Edward Barnard: MP, Secretary of State for the Environment (DEFRA) and later Chairman of the Leave Campaign, still later Chancellor of the Exchequer

  Joyce Griffith: Barnard’s P/A at DEFRA

  Jeremy Hartley: MP, Prime Minister at start of book

  Mabel Killick: MP, Home Secretary, Prime Minister at end of book

  Melissa Barnard: Edward Barnard’s wife

  Dame Jane Porter: Head of MI5

  Mark Cooper: Head of MI6

  James Armitage: Deputy Head of MI6

  Shirley Wilson: Head of MI6 China desk

  Roger Wales: Head of MI6 Russia Desk

  Giles Mortimer: Mrs Killick’s joint-chief aide

  Holly Percy: Mrs Killick’s other joint-chief aide

  Tom Milbourne: MP, Chancellor of the Exchequer at beginning of book

  Sir Oliver Holmes: Metropolitan Police Commissioner

  Cornelia Gosford: Deputy Police Commissioner

  Harriet Marshall: Director of the Leave Campaign

  Christine Meadows: Harriet Marshall’s partner

  Harry Stokes: MP, former Mayor of London, later Foreign Secretary

  Owen Griffiths: Stokes’ aide

  Joshan Gupta: Employee of MI5

  Jill Hepworth: Employee of MI6

  Lillian Peters: Employee of FCO

  Jack Kellaway: MP, former Minister for Social Affairs

  David Cole: MP, Justice Minister

  Andromeda Ledbury: MP, Leave leader

  Eric Forster: MP, Speaker in House of Commons

  Miles Pomfrey: MP, leader of the Opposition

  Fred Malkin: Conservative Party Chairman

  Monica Fall: MP for Blyth

  George Wiley: Editor of the Sun newspaper

  Louise Hitchcock: BBC journalist/broadcaster

  Arthur Pemberton: President of the Oxford Union

  L
ord Middelbank of Upper Twaddle, Conservative Grandee

  Jerry Goodman: Security aide for Edward Barnard

  Mnogo Abewa: MI5 interrogator

  Noel Garnett: Veteran BBC journalist

  Thomas Pulborough: Conservationist

  HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

  Simon Henley: Leader of UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party)

  Nancy Ginsberg: BBC political correspondent

  Warren Fletcher: US Ambassador in London

  Gennadiy Tikhonov: Russian Ambassador in London

  Nicolai Nabokov: First Sec at Russian Trade Mission, London

  AUSTRALIA

  Mickey Selkirk: Head of Selkirk Global media empire

  Melanie Selkirk: Selkirk’s wife

  Ching Ze-Gong; Mrs Fung: couple who work for Selkirk at Lazy-T ranch

  Hu Wong-Fu: Owner of Chinese restaurant in Kununurra

  Jim Jackson: Cattleman and helicopter pilot at Lazy-T ranch

  Dr Phillips: Doctor at Kununurra Hospital

  Professor Cohen: Consultant at the Kununurra Hospital

  Professor Irwin Jones: Australian Toxicologist

  IRELAND

  Fiona Barnard: Daughter of Edward and Melissa Barnard

  Michael Kennedy: Fiona’s partner

  BRUSSELS/BELGIUM

  Michael O’Rourke: President of European Commission

  Mary Burns: O’Rourke’s Chef de Cabinet

  Arne Jacobsen: Danish Prime Minister

  Eloise Pomade: Senior Official in EU Council Secretariat

  Lazlo Ferenczy: Prime Minister of Hungary

  Jacques Petit: President of France

  Martine Le Grand: French Presidential candidate

  Otto von Wiensdorf: German Ambassador to EU in Brussels

  Sir Luke Threadgold: UK Permanent Representative to EU

  TURKEY

  Ahmet Ergun: President

  Nuray Ergun: His wife

  General Aslan Bolat: Turkish Army

  KEY INSTITUTIONS AND AGENCIES

  CIA: US Central Intelligence Agency

  FBI: US Federal Bureau of Investigation

  FCC: Federal Communications Commission

  FCO: UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office

  FSB: Successor agency to KGB

  KGB: Main security agency for Soviet Union from 1954–1991

  MI5: UK Counter-intelligence agency

  MI6: UK’s Secret Intelligence Service

  MSS: China’s Ministry of State Security

  KEY ANIMALS

  Amur tiger: crosses border into China

  Helga: tiger cub presented by President Popov to Berlin Zoo

  Jemima: Edward Barnard’s bay mare

  Sydney Funnel Web Spider: Atrax Robustus

  AUTHOR'S NOTE

  Kompromat is, to use an old-fashioned term, An Entertainment.

  Although the book borrows from recent events, it is a very loose borrowing, being self-evidently a work of fiction and satire, and not a work of history – an antidote to the maxim that truth is stranger than fiction. Readers of this novel should not conclude in any way that any living person misbehaved in the manner that some of the characters in the book regrettably seem to have done.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Jack Varese, winner of the most recent Best Actor Oscar, was late. Very late. Sitting in the front row of the celebrity audience in St Petersburg’s famous Mariisnky Theatre, Russia’s long-serving president, Igor Popov, muttered to an aide, ‘Where the devil is he? We’re going to have to start without him.’

  Popov glanced across the aisle to where the German chancellor, Helga Brun, stared stony-faced at the empty stage in front of her. Next to her was China’s prime minister, Liu Wang-Ji, and next to him in the VIP line-up came India’s prime minister, Nawab Singh.

  President Popov was about to go up onto the stage himself to explain the delay when there was a sudden commotion in the wings.

  The loud speakers burst into life. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the guest of honour, Jack Varese, has arrived and will address the gathering.’

  ‘So sorry,’ the American began. ‘We were delayed by headwinds on the way over from New York so we had to refuel in Helsinki. Guess I should have flown Aeroflot after all! Or else Ron Craig here could have brought me in his Boeing. But, hell, I like to fly my own plane!’

  Varese beckoned Ron Craig up onto the stage. ‘This is a man who wants to help save the world’s tigers. So I said to him. “Welcome aboard, Ron. Your help is sorely needed. President Popov needs your help.” So that’s why we’re all here. To support the World Tiger Conservation Action Plan, which President Popov has launched tonight.’

  Within a few moments Varese had them eating out of his hand. Popov sat back in his chair and relaxed.

  This World Tiger Summit had been very much Popov’s own initiative. A passionate outdoors man, he liked nothing better than to be photographed bare-chested in field and forest, preferably with a hunting rifle in his hand. Of course, there were some animals he didn’t shoot and the fabled Amur tiger was one of them. There were still a good number of these magnificent beasts left in the wild, way out there in the Russian Far East. Some of them indeed were so far to the east that they sometimes crossed the Ussuri River and strayed into Chinese territory. The previous day, in a tête a tête with China’s president, Liu Wang-Ji, Popov had said, ‘You may have killed and skinned all your own tigers, Mr President, but kindly keep your hands off ours!’

  When it was Popov’s turn to speak he kept his remarks short.

  ‘Today, ladies and gentlemen, we are adopting a World Tiger Action Plan. Yes, there are 450 Amur tigers left in Russian Siberia; yes, there are maybe 3,000 tigers in India; yes, there are tigers in Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Myanmar, Bangladesh and so on. But, believe me, those tiger populations will be extinct unless we take action now.’

  Later that evening the presidents and prime ministers of the tiger ‘range states’, whom Popov had personally invited to St Petersburg, gathered for dinner in the glittering splendour of the Winter Palace.

  Edward Barnard, MP and Secretary of State for the Environment, found himself, by some quirk of protocol, sitting next to Helga Brun, the German chancellor.

  Barnard, an outdoor man himself, was full of praise for the way Popov had handled the event. ‘I thought he would just look in and out of the meeting, but he put in three full days. He must really care. And he had some kind words for Europe; he acknowledged the help we have given with his tigers’ cause.’

  Helga Brun laughed. ‘Don’t believe everything he says. Our people in Moscow tell me that he’s absolutely furious. He thinks we’ve backed Russia into a corner. From Popov’s point of view, we’ve been running after the Ukraine the way a dog runs after a bitch on heat. We’ve been expanding NATO right up to Russia’s border. We’ve imposed sanctions over Crimea. I admit we have seen one side of President Popov tonight, the rather pleasant side, but I can’t help feeling we are going to see another side very soon. Popov is planning something big. Very big. You mark my words.’

  The guests all rose to their feet as President Popov left the splendid dining-hall to the sound of trumpets.

  Jack Varese, very much recovered from the long journey and its various mishaps, worked the room glass in hand, moving from table to table like a politician running for office.

  It wasn’t long before he took Barnard’s hand and shook it warmly. When Barnard introduced himself, Varese commented: ‘So you’re the leader of the UK delegation. Secretary of State for the Environment. That’s a great handle to have.’

  ‘We may not have any tigers. But the British government wants to make it clear we fully approve of President Popov’s initiative.’

  Varese laughed. ‘Maybe that’ll distract him and he’ll forget about invading the Baltic States.’

  Seconds later, President Popov himself stopped at Barnard’s table. He was, Barnard guessed, around five eight in height, a trifle less perhaps. Thinning hair, carefully brushed b
ack to cover a bald spot.

  Barnard bowed his head instinctively. This was the Russian head of state. Whatever you might feel about the man, you had to respect the office he held.

  A lavishly decorated aide hovered at Popov’s side. The president had obviously been well-briefed.

  ‘Please thank your government for the support they are giving to the World Tiger Action Plan,’ Popov told Barnard. ‘We very much appreciate it. I hope one day soon to come to London to show my appreciation in person.’

  As the presidential party moved on, Barnard muttered to himself, ‘Dream on!’ Reaching for another drink, he found it hard to imagine that Popov would be making a state visit to Britain any time soon. Not in the current climate.

  The party began to break up. The limousine was waiting to take him back to his hotel. Sinking back into the plush leather seat of the sleek, black 3-litre BMW that the authorities had made available for the VIP guests, Barnard took his phone from his pocket.

  Although some of his fellow Cabinet ministers had joshed that his trip to Russia was a mere jolly, there was after all some important news to convey to the authorities back home. He had absolutely no doubt that, in their separate ways, both the Russian president and the German chancellor had hoped that he, Secretary of State for the Environment, would convey a message to London, and he was delighted to be able to do so.

  How things had changed in Russia over the last few years, he thought. In the big cities at least, it was all bling and gizmos. Wi-Fi was everywhere. Even in a moving car twenty miles outside St Petersburg you could pick up a signal, which was more than could be said for some of the outlying areas of London. Edward Barnard began to tap out his message.

  Not far away, on the FSB control centre on St Petersburg’s Cherniavski Street, Fyodor Stephanov, a tall, broad-shouldered man with a scar on his right cheek, picked up Barnard’s message almost as soon as it had been sent.

  He printed off a flimsy and walked quickly into the next room where his superior took one look at the text.

  ‘Not even encrypted! Not even the lowest level! What do they take us for?’

  He handed the flimsy back to the duty officer. ‘You’d had better get going,’ he said. ‘Pass the word. And make sure the women know what to do.’

  Stephanov rubbed his hands and smiled. ‘They know all right.’ In due course, he would be well paid for the video he would offer for sale on the now well-developed market for such material. He always welcomed a little freelance action. He was saving up for that Baltic cruise with his new girlfriend.